Heyyy!
How's it going?
Today is New Years Eve, so I'm publishing this post early, because by the usual posting time comes around, everyone will be thinking about other stuff and I don't think this post will be relevant anymore lol
Update, I'm starting to posting weekly, on Mondays. Yayyy!! *also someone said I should start writing like a normal person and actually capitalize things.... so we're trying it out.*
Before we get into it, I thought I'd give a little life update first :)
I'm bummed winter break is ending. I've worked a few times, but since the ovens at the restaurant are broken, it's been chaotic. I haven't made any candles, and I've only gone to volleyball once...
Yesterday night one of my friends spent the night, we talked a LOT and caught up and it was great.
Aaaaaand New Years Eve tonight....guess what. I have NOTHING planned.
The youth group is going sledding from 1-5...but it has been in the single digits here and sledding also isn't my favorite thing. Soooo... yeah! I had the idea to host a huge party, but there are 3 problems to that idea. One, I came up with it late yesterday night, so it's wayyy too last minute, two, my parents are going to be gone, and we need adult supervision or whatever, and three, well, I don't have enough friends for a huge party anyway 😐
I invited an old friend over, but she wasn't able to make it. So I think I'll just get some homework done, maybe write a song, and just chill.
To kinda ease into the main topic, something I've learned recently is that you don't always have to have plans. I was honestly bummed and disappointed that I didn't have plans for New Years Eve. It made me feel boring and uninteresting....like I'm 15. We're supposed to be going to parties and having lit crazy movie moments...right?
But I realized, hey, it's OKAY if this year I stay home and watch the ball drop in times square BY MYSELF!! Because maybe next year I'll go to a party, or have an all-nighter, or go visit family. I am learning to be okay with not doing something crazy every single year. :)
That being said, it made me think about the new year in general. And these things we call resolutions. I think that we form them to better ourselves in someway, or change something we did last year that we want to fix, grow, etc.
I have mixed feelings about all of this.
I think goal-setting is great. I recommend using a planner, either on your phone or having a booklet one, and also creating to-do lists for each day, so you can feel accomplished and BE accomplished.
Buuuut, I know from personal experience, that if/when you don't complete that to-do list, forget to do something, didn't quite get to it, and leave that item uncrossed off, it can make you feel like crap.
Unfortunately, because of that one unfinished task, our brains can make us feel like we un incapable of doing the simplest things. We tell ourselves that we're stupid, distracted, useless, and should probably just give up on our goals.
Harsh!
Well, of course it sounds harsh when you see it written down like this.
But we honestly normalize this kind of negative self talk, and I think that some of this is planted by unrealistic goal setting, hence the connection to 'resolutions'.
Some of the most common New Years resolutions sound something like these:
Exercise more.
Lose weight.
Get organized.
Find a new hobby.
Quit smoking.
Drink more water.
Very blunt and to the point, making them seem simple and easier than they are.
I feel like this is the problem we create - we give ourselves too much to change at a time.
Say you wanted to start losing weight in the upcoming year.
How do you even begin to accomplish that huge goal? It feels sort of vague, and there are so many little thresholds within that bigger goal that make it seem super overwhelming if you take a step back.
I think the solution to this is taking it day by day. Maybe your resolution in your journal instead of lose weight, can be research weight loss programs.
Breaking the big goal into smaller pieces makes it more realistic, measureable, specific, and achievable, and sets you up to be successful and without fear of failure.
Conclusion, I think resolutions are great, if you look closer, establish your specific goal, and make a well-thought-out and personalized PLAN for acomplishment! :)
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Change!
Change is hard. It's also inevitable.
The new year often brings opportunities for people, circumstances, and environments to shift, sometimes for better, and sometimes for worse.
Sometimes it's little things, like classes at school changing, new sports interfering with your schedule, etc.
And sometimes it's bigger things like friends that have become distant and awkward, or family stuff, or moving houses/towns.
It's just hard.
All of it.
We get so used to our normal routine, that when something messes it all up, we get really frustrated.
Generally, people cope with change in two ways, escape coping and control coping.
The first is avoiding the change. This could look like ignoring someone who's been reaching out to you after something hard, or avoiding a friend you've been needing to confront, or choose not to do homework for a new class you have that's been challenging.
The second is more proactive and often more positive, by taking control of the change and refusing to be the victim of it. This could look like getting support, reaching out, and embracing the ups and downs life throws at you.
If you're more of an escaper (like me lol), there are some good strategies for dealing with change, and I just thought I'd share! :)
ACKNOWLEDGE THE CHANGE.
Instead of denial, say "things are changing, and it's okay" !!
REFRAME YOUR THINKING TO ACCENUATE THE POSITIVE!
Becoming aware of negative thoughts and realizing how they bring you down is a big step toward becoming more comfortable with change. You are now able to shift those thoughts and see the positives of the changes.
MAINTAIN SOME NORMALCY.
Even though some things will be constantly changing, you will always be able to find things that stay the same. Keep some things routine and a regular part of your day, but don't hold onto them SO tight that you lose your progress in becoming okay with change. :)
CREATE COMFORT.
Sometimes we need to go to our happy place for a little while, whether that's listening to music, getting coffee, spending time with your mom, walking your dog, or whatever!
GET SUPPORT <3
It's important to vent (to a certain level), and to have people who support you in all the changes you go through.
COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS!!
This is kind of like number two, but it's SO important. Remember that there will always be things to look forward to and enjoy, and no matter what, we have so much to be thankful for. :)
Wow!! That was a lot. I hope you found something that stuck with you, and I hope you have an amazing New Years Eve tonight.
I wish the best for u in 2022!! Sending love, blessings, + prayers allllll around the world <33
Happy New Year!
Stay cool ;)
willow
